With Jon Vallier

Thanks, Hallmark.

Valentine's Day

You're cornered. Time is running out and the pressure is on. What you do next will either lead to greatness or misery. No, this isn't an athletic event, it's Valentine's Day.

Over the years I've spoken with many a husband who feels clueless and cornered heading into this high pressure event. Sure, there are a handful of legitimately forgetful men, but many others are simply feeling the pressure to be romantic. But not merely romantic, but to achieve the heights of love and the depth of ecstasy as seen in the movies. The annual problem is compounded when, for some men, romance and creativity can feel like forgotten muscles they have not exercised since their dating days. So what do you do? Should you give up on romance altogether? Or do you roll the dice and deal with the pressure and risk of being romantic? 

While I'm in no way claiming to be Cupid here, I humbly suggest there is some helpful light to be shed on these issues.

1. Romance is biblical. Although Valentine's Day isn't in the Bible, romance is. As you read through the pages of Scripture you can't help but see the passionate love of God and His desire for his children to enjoy a passionate love life. After all, God inspired the Songs of Solomon (try reading that out loud to your wife to spice things up this holiday)! Not in part or as an allegory, but every word. He offers it for men and women in a marriage today. This shameless offering by God should not be taken lightly. Let's learn from His example.

2. Effort matters. Guys, your wife isn't expecting you to transform into Cary Grant. She is looking for effort. And the secret ingredient to effort? Paying attention. For example, a long time ago I had my wife and I go through the book by Gary Chapman called, The Five Love Languages. Once I learned her love language was gifts, I started keeping a note on my phone with gift ideas. Whenever I think of a new idea I add it to the list. Little investments of effort all year long not only prepare you for Valentine's Day, but helps you romance your wife all year around. Not sure where to start? Start following her on Pinterest, read a book like Cheap Dates by Steven C. Smith,  and learn how to give a good foot massage. These simple efforts will get those flabby romance muscles pumping again!

3. Don't complicate it. Confidence is sexy. The way you approach whatever it is, plain and simple, have a humble confidence. Without going too in depth, just know it is less complicated when you are all in. 

There you have it. Don't let the pressure get to you. Instead, pursue romance, put in the effort, and don't complicate it. Happy Valentine's Day!

Jonathan Vallier1 Comment